My friend Angela Doss is going to a Paul Simon concert this weekend, and has a chance of meeting him. She asked if there were any questions I had for the legendary musician. These are all I could come up with:

“Paul Simon, how do you get your whites so white?”

“Why didn’t you ever tell Art to get a haircut?”

“During the Graceland tour, did you pay that guy who only played one note every other measure less than you paid the rest of the band?”

“Now that you’re older and more experienced, do you still think that it’s all happening at the zoo?”

“You remember when…when you and Art…y’know…played in New York…in Central…in Central Park? Y’know? You remember that? Yeah. That was awesome!”

“Do you have any insight into Fermat’s last theorum? I mean, that so-called solution from a few years back couldn’t possibly have been what Fermat was thinking about, since it’s obviously not ‘elegant’ and wouldn’t have fit into the book, much less the margin.”

Thanks for delivering these to the one man who’s capable of answering them.

Sean