This morning, the iTunes store brought me the news that New Kids on the Block have a new album coming out. I was surprised to hear that they were still around, so clicked on through. To my horror, I found that while they now look like 37 year old chain smokers, they are still singing the same preadolescent, overengineered bubblegum pop. I mentioned the album to Jimmy, one of my coworkers, and he suggested that we should help them out by coming up with some new song titles better suited to their current station in life. A few moment’s brainstorming yielded the following titles:

• “Girl, Can I Light Your Cigarette?”
• “Your Biological Clock is Ticking”
• “I’ve Got Some Candy in my Pocket”
• “You Can’t Go Back to Middle School”
• “(I’ve Got The) Peter Pan Syndrome”
• “Sugar Daddy”
• “Let Me Love You ’til My Hip Gives Out”

Want to play along? Post your own in the comments! You could win a copy of our home game just for posting! (Disclaimer: that was a lie.) And New Kids? Feel free to use any of these you like.