A few months back, I read an article in Texas Monthly entitled “Willie Nelson’s Favorite Clean Jokes.” My favorite of them was this:

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “Hey bartender! Have you got any grapes?” The bemused bartender replies “No, we don’t have any grapes.” The duck, unfazed, walks out.

The next day the duck returns and says “Hey bartender, have you got any grapes?” The bartender, recognizing the duck from the day before, says “Nope. We don’t have any grapes.” Not having any luck, the duck leaves.

The third day, the duck returns. “Hey bartender! Have you got any grapes?” The bartender is, by this point, fed up with the duck’s constant requests for grapes. “NO! We didn’t have grapes the day before yesterday, we didn’t have them yesterday, we don’t have them today, we won’t have them tomorrow! This is a BAR! If you come in asking for grapes once more, I’m going to nail your big duck feet to this bar!” The duck, a bit taken aback, leaves the bar.

The next day, sure enough, the duck appears again. “Hey bartender! Have you got any nails?” The bartender, surprised by the change in routine, says “No, I don’t have any nails.” “Well, in that case,” replies the duck, “Have you got any grapes?”

[Emily->] quickly decided that this was one of her favorite jokes too, and started telling it to anyone who would listen. She does a good job with the joke, and I always find her joke-telling charming. I didn’t have any idea what effect it was having until this week, after she’s been off in New York for a week and a half, [Liam->] started trying to tell the joke. He mangled it horribly, which made it funny enough, but the capper is that he has started to suddenly, apropos of nothing, blurt out loudly at random moments:

“HEY BARTENDER! HAVE YOU GOT ANY GRAPES?”